Women Describe Their First Experience With A Penis

1. “Everyone’s always sobbing over the fact that dudes who watch too much porn develop a warped outlook on sex and how women should behave in bed and whatnot. But no one’s worried about the expectations women have about penis size from watching dirty videos featuring 10-inch dicks—and they probably should be. The first time I reached into my ninth grade boyfriend’s pants to give him a handjob, I was shocked by what wasn’t there. I even looked down to check that he was actually erect. He was.”

— Becka, 25

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2. “My super bohemian parents have always insisted on walking around our house naked. So the first penis I was exposed to was my dad’s. Usually I’d see it when it was flaccid. But one day I walked into my parents’ bedroom when I was about five, and when my dad got up to go to the bathroom, I saw this thing protruding straight out from between his legs. He had a raging boner,
but I had no idea about the whole morning wood thing yet. So I screamed, ‘Daddy, there’s a snake eating your penis!’ Haven’t been able to live that one down.”

— Abigail, 23

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3. “I didn’t perform oral sex on a guy until I was in college, at which point I was embarrassed because I couldn’t participate in conversations about dicks with my girlfriends. So I got wasted one night, determined to give head for the first time. It wasn’t all that (excuse the pun) hard to find a willing partner. But the guy I ended up in bed with had what I now know by comparison to be a giant penis. Twenty seconds into my attempt to deep throat, I vomited all over him. It was so traumatizing, I waited another year before trying again.”

— Brittany, 29

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4. “I was one of those girls who was ahead of her time, sexually. I developed early, and I had urges, you know. Raging teenage hormones! After I gave my first handy at 11, I became fascinated by penises. I thought they were so cool, the way grew and pulsated and responded to my touch. I wanted to see as many as I could as quickly as possible. As you can imagine, I was very popular for a while.”

— Carly, 28

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5. “For a long time, I was shy about boys and sex. In high school, I promised my boyfriend of six months that if he officially asked me to prom, we could move on from dry humping to some more exciting stuff. I was terrified of the images of penises I’d seen from Googling, but I figured I’d have to take the leap at some point. Unfortunately, when my boyfriend unzipped his pants and whipped it out for the first time, all my fears were confirmed. I actually covered my eyes and started crying because I wanted nothing to do with that rocket ship shaped thing, but I’d promised him I’d put my mouth on it for at least 30 seconds. He was a nice guy and didn’t make me go through with it. We’re Facebook friends to this day.”

— Maddie, 22

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6. “When I was a teen, I was pretty embarrassed about my vagina. I mean, they don’t really give young girls any education in the what-your-vagina-might-look like department. Now I know there’s a spectrum of possibilities, but back then I just assumed mine was weird. Well, the first time I got naked with a boy, at 16, I did what anyone who was utterly relieved they weren’t the only one with funny looking genitalia would do: I laughed out loud. Then I watched, with fascination, as his erection died. Whoops.”

— Louisa, 32

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7. “I was so eager to go down on a guy for the first time—you know, it was just time to cross that sexual to-do off the list. So I approached the quarterback of the football team at the Winter Wonderland dance and whispered in his ear that I wanted to give him head. Obviously, he consented. I pulled his pants down in the backseat of his Jeep Cherokee and watched him lean back and smile as I did my thing (I’d watched a few Jenna Jameson videos online for tips). I was no expert, but I quickly realized that that didn’t really matter. I could tickle it with my tongue and use my hands and I loved feeling like I had so much power over a guy that way.”

— Annie, 30

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8. “Penises are weird. I’ve felt that way since the day I saw my first boyfriend naked, and I maintain that stance. It’s not the sausage part that bothers me as much as the nuts. Nuts? Why do we even call them that? They’re more like nuts encased in gelatinous sacs of wrinkly, bumpy flesh lined with prickly pubic hair. I’d die happy if I never touched another pair of balls again. Too bad I’m not a lesbian, I guess.”

— Tatiana, 24

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9. “For years, I never really appreciated the naked male body. I was simultaneously mystified and borderline repulsed by it. But when my current boyfriend first stripped for me in his dorm room and stood there, all vulnerable with his junk hanging out, I didn’t just fall in love with him—I fell for his penis. I seriously think it’s the most beautiful thing. I like seeing it and feeling it in all of its various shapes and sizes. So I’d encourage any girl who’s feels at all put off by cocks to hold on tight, because they’re bound to change their mind as soon as they meet the right guy.”

— Amanda, 34

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10. “No matter how many tidbits you hear from your sexually experienced girlfriends, nothing prepares you for the first time you get up close and personal with a man’s package. I threw a party in the basement of my parents’ house while they were away one weekend and when it was my turn to get locked in a closet for ‘seven minutes in heaven,’ I was literally shaking with nerves. I remember feeling poked when he approached. His dick was so hard and terrifying unfamiliar. I just wasn’t quite ready yet. Luckily, he was so distracted feeling me up that we didn’t even get past second based before someone knocked on the door.”

— Lacey, 30

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11. “I have a theory that girls who say penises are ugly are afraid of coming across as overly sexual or slutty or something. I loved penises since I first became acquainted with them IRL, around age 13. I like ‘em circumcised, uncircumcised, big, average, pink, or brown. I mean, is there another human body part that defies gravity? I can understand why a penis might look weird to a girl at first, but all body parts are pretty weird if you isolate them for long enough. Stare at your foot for five minutes and then tell me dicks are anything but awesome.”

— Blaire, 25

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12. “Okay, so when I saw my first penis, I made a little mistake. I was dating someone semi-seriously and one thing led to another and we started fooling around in my bedroom, where we were supposed to be studying. Since the lights were still on I had a really good look when it made its debut and I just sat there, gawking, paralyzed in awe. It’s startling to be confronted by a brand new body part. So the guy said “Everything okay?” and I said, “Yes! It’s just so cute!” Cute. I called a man’s penis cute. The look of absolute terror on the guy’s face taught me never to do that again.”