Having a deep connection with your boyfriend is something that takes time and effort. A lot of patience, kindness and willingness to listen to each other goes into the mix of a deep connection, as does that essential spark of compatibility that you just can't force.
Steps
1.
Know yourself. It can be easy to melt into someone else if you don't yet know who you are or what you stand for. If you haven't yet resolved those aspects of yourself, hold off on seeking a deeper connection with someone else, otherwise you risk letting your boyfriend be the source of fulfillment rather than seeking self-understanding. This doesn't mean ditching your boyfriend while you find yourself but it does mean taking everything slowly and being very careful about your boundaries, so that you're fully aware of any temptation to use his strength instead of finding your own.
* Be emotionally honest with yourself and know your limits as well as your strengths.
2.
Be open with your boyfriend. Share intimate thoughts, dreams and ideas together. Tell him about the dreams that drive you and the hopes you hold for the future, including a future with him. This is an important way to build a foundation together, getting to know one another fully.
* Listen to your boyfriend attentively. Hear the things he doesn't say as much as the things he does. Expect him to reciprocate (but don't make the mistake of assuming he can read your mind!).
* Be non-judgmental. You cannot get to know another person well without listening unconditionally and standing in the other person's shoes. Try it and learn what you can.
3.
Be trusting. Show that you trust your boyfriend. In turn, give him every reason to trust you. Through trust, a deeper relationship will develop, as you have one another's back and you can rely on each other to always be supportive and truthful.
4.
Encourage his emotions. When he feels raw, sad, afraid or tearful, be with him, non-judgmental and supportive. Tell him you're there for him, you're listening and that you care about him beyond all else. Reassure him that he can be himself around you and that there will be no repercussions, just understanding and unconditional love.
* If he feels insecure, help him to feel better. Point out all of his good features, strengths and successes. Remind him of why he matters to you, to others and to the world in general.
* If you feel insecure, let him reassure you and bolster your mood.
5.
Do nice things for each other as often as possible. For example, you might make a special dinner for Saturday nights, or give each other a massage for an hour or more.
* Be open about your sex life. Talk openly about new sexual adventures you want to embark on, and what kinds of new lubes or outfits you want to try.
6.
Discuss the future as a couple. When you feel that you are close enough to think about sharing the future together, start talking about it as a couple. There are lots of things you can talk about, including where you see yourselves living, working, traveling, etc.
* Talk about whether or you not you would like children in the future. Being compatible on this issue is important and is something that will cement a deep connection.
7.
Believe in the depths of your soul that you and this person could grow old together. Grow a strong spiritual bond as well as a physical one, because the spirit never dies.
Tips
* Honesty is the key to everything.
* Consider the saying "every generalization is false, including this one" by Mark Twain. Everybody loves differently, these are just some guidelines.
* Conversing lets him know that you care and that you'll be there when he needs you.
* Remember he is a person too. Consider his feelings as if they were your own.
* if the man you have chosen is incapable of trust example: falsely accuses you of cheating on him in the beginning of the relationship, it's a sign he is not worthy of trust himself. move on quickly and find someone who is interested in forming a real connection
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